Writing exercise: Place where I was born (12.12.18)
Happy New Year everyone,
I am now back from holidays, where I didn't do as much writing as I should have; but I took notes and came out with a couple of story ideas (short stories) and a few points that I plan on incorporating in my Manuscript.
But, first things first: in this article, I want to show you what I came up on the subject of "Place where I was born" during my writing exercise (5 minutes of free writing on the subject). By now, you know how this works.
So. Ready?
"We eat cheese and love our meet dishes. We have Chateaux and beautiful gardens, a great history that teaches us the values of fraternity, equality and freedom.
We were taught to respect, to fight and to love our country. We hated rules and made new ones. We started revolutions.
This country that I was born in is the most spectacular in my eyes. But it isn't home. Just like a mother letting go for her child, I left this emptiness in my heart.
I left because I couldn't contribute to this Country, and I refused to let it support me.
I learnt respect and values about what I want in life. I learnt to love and be loved in another place. I felt reborn here, just like a phoenix taking breathe again.
This is where I was born a second time.
This is my country too, France my birth home, but UK my living place."
155 words.
Now.
What is my opinion?
I am rather content with what I wrote there. I feel that the words flow well, for the most part. I think that I got the main parts right: my love for my Country but also this need to be in UK, my second home which is, in a way, more important in my eyes now.
I used short sentences which I feel fit well here: it give a beat to the reading as well as moves the point across quite well.
I used a couple of words and references that clearly show which Country I am talking about, even before I say its name.
What would I do differently?
- I think that I probably would work on my vocabulary a bit more here.
-I would probably chance a couple of sentences altogether: "left the emptiness in my heart" for example.
-I probably would expand a couple of ideas too: the phoenix metaphor in particular.
But overall, I am content.
What do you think?
Feel free to do this exercise and see what you come up with. Feel free to post it in the comments, or, if you prefer to do it on your own blog and send me the link, that's fine as well.
I try to give constructive feedback and hope that you will do the same.
Thanks.
I am now back from holidays, where I didn't do as much writing as I should have; but I took notes and came out with a couple of story ideas (short stories) and a few points that I plan on incorporating in my Manuscript.
But, first things first: in this article, I want to show you what I came up on the subject of "Place where I was born" during my writing exercise (5 minutes of free writing on the subject). By now, you know how this works.
So. Ready?
"We eat cheese and love our meet dishes. We have Chateaux and beautiful gardens, a great history that teaches us the values of fraternity, equality and freedom.
We were taught to respect, to fight and to love our country. We hated rules and made new ones. We started revolutions.
This country that I was born in is the most spectacular in my eyes. But it isn't home. Just like a mother letting go for her child, I left this emptiness in my heart.
I left because I couldn't contribute to this Country, and I refused to let it support me.
I learnt respect and values about what I want in life. I learnt to love and be loved in another place. I felt reborn here, just like a phoenix taking breathe again.
This is where I was born a second time.
This is my country too, France my birth home, but UK my living place."
155 words.
Now.
What is my opinion?
I am rather content with what I wrote there. I feel that the words flow well, for the most part. I think that I got the main parts right: my love for my Country but also this need to be in UK, my second home which is, in a way, more important in my eyes now.
I used short sentences which I feel fit well here: it give a beat to the reading as well as moves the point across quite well.
I used a couple of words and references that clearly show which Country I am talking about, even before I say its name.
What would I do differently?
- I think that I probably would work on my vocabulary a bit more here.
-I would probably chance a couple of sentences altogether: "left the emptiness in my heart" for example.
-I probably would expand a couple of ideas too: the phoenix metaphor in particular.
But overall, I am content.
What do you think?
Feel free to do this exercise and see what you come up with. Feel free to post it in the comments, or, if you prefer to do it on your own blog and send me the link, that's fine as well.
I try to give constructive feedback and hope that you will do the same.
Thanks.
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