Debate: what you are into what you write

I would like to discuss something that we see more and more: what you are needs to correspond to what you write. Or does it?



     A lot of news and blog articles, comments and videos relate to how an author look (black, white and other skin colors) or their gender and sexuality orientation (cis, by, gay, lesbian, asexual,etc...) compared to what they write about.

     I will give you my view of it, and then you can comment your thoughts (please, no swearwords and other nonsense, this is a friendly debate).

     Personally, I understand that if an author plans to write about 'real life', then they should be aware of what they are talking about. That includes research as far as I am concerned. What do I mean by that?

     -Well, for one, talk to people. Not just your friends and family, because let's face it, they are a great mental support but do they really give constructive feedback? 
     -Research through books, articles and videos as needed.
     - take notes. Use your senses to see and hear what is going on around you.
Keep in mind that as a writer, these things are supposed to happen anyway (no matter what genre you write).

What I am not sure about is: if writing sci-fi and/or fantasy, would people judge the books the same way? If the story is set in an alternate dimension then do the same criteria apply?
Let me give you an example:
I am a fantasy writer. I have worked on my world building from the ground up, creating a new society with its own beliefs, new ways of living and habits, etc. But I come back to the same 'life' questions that we face. But it is a different world. After all, that's one of the beauties of fantasy writing.
Now, if I say that my character is male, black and gay, would that be seen as a problem? I am female, white and Cis (or at least I think so), so am I doing something wrong?

What do you think?

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